Not only is Tanika Ray trying to get women Ready To Love as the reunion host of the OWN series she’s also ready to get her own ‘ish together and inspires other women to do the same, especially mothers and those who aspire to step into that realm one day. But before you can be the guiding light your child needs, you first need to be the torch for yourself. 

For the working mom 

Last October, Ray, started her very own podcast, Mamaste. It’s a tell-all, no boundaries podcast for all mothers, black, white, and brown, that touches on everything from conscious parenting to co-parenting. Guests include close celebrity friends and influencers such as actress Lisa Raye, Paternity Court‘s Lauren Lake, award-winning author Anita Kopacz, Princess Keisha and Grammy-nominated singer, Maimouna Youssef.

The name Mamaste derives from the Hindu phrase, Namaste, which means ‘I bow you to you’ nd a phrase Ray occasionally says to her 7-year-old daughter, Nyla. It’s the ideal platform for Royal Women who are moms on the go, juggling parenting and being booked and busy at the same time. 

“Being in TV for 21 years has given me the tools necessary to produce a fun, insightful, and rich episode every week that I’m truly proud of,” she says.  “I’m also really excited about the moms that have said yes to connecting and chatting with me about the most important job we will ever have, creating and nurturing life.” 

For self

The podcast also tackles another important aspect, mental health, specifically generational trauma that we as women could obtain (sometimes unknowingly) from our bloodline. In other words, grandma’s and mama’s traumas and the way they did some things do not have to be our own traditions.  

Ray, 50, finds that the greatest hurdle in raising kids today is avoiding the trap of that trauma. 

 “Mothering as we were mothered is so infused into our ideology sometimes it’s hard to separate what is truly our own approach to parenting,” she says. “When you parent the way you were parented, you are actively passing on the collective pain, trauma, and oppression of your lineage.”

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Bye Black trauma 

Mamaste also challenges the age-old Black belief of ‘what goes on in the house stays in the house’ or ‘pray about it.’ Word of advice, if something happened to you in your childhood that is still affecting you now as an adult, it’s OK to get some help about it. 

“The collective experience of African Americans is traumatic which has trickled down to how we have raised our kids historically,” Ray says.  “But today, we can choose a  different way. Being present and intentional in every parenting decision breaks the chain.”

According to a 2020 study from the US Library of Medicine, Blacks were among the highest to experience a form of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Furthermore, trauma experienced by parents could impact the behavior of their children and generations to come. Research has shown that trauma could not only stem from our childhood but as a culture as well. Dear Black girl, yes, believe it or not, the experiences of our ancestors still have a mental hold on us. 

“The importance of mental health as a parent is paramount to the mental health of the child,” Rays says about the mental health of parents. “When mothers don’t mother from a healthy mental state they easily and unconsciously pass on their unhealed traumas to their kids that could turn into a variety of behavior issues by 7 if not earlier.” 

There’s also the self-care aspect of Mamaste that both mothers and non-mothers could appreciate. From meditation and yoga to breakout dance sessions for the gram’, the celebrity TV host and influencer is unapologetically protective of your peace, especially since it took some trials and tribulations to obtain it.

The reliability for Mamaste is Ray’s transparency. She doesn’t pretend that she has it all together, especially mommying. 

“There is a lot of pressure to do this thing called ‘mommying’ right but there is no true template for success.”

In a nutshell, get your stuff together, sis.’Project You’ is ever-evolving but it’s enlightening to know that we are not alone in the journey and it’s a struggle for Royal women of all ages and shades. We not only owe it to ourselves to fix ourselves but to our children, future children, and younger eyes who look up to us. 

Mamaste does that for us, or at least helps us along the way. 

You can listen to the Mamaste podcast on Apple and Spotify.