#OnTheGo

The New Year is fast approaching and with that comes New Year’s resolutions. Most people’s resolutions center around their health, their career or improving themselves overall. These goals are admirable, but there could be a not so obvious roadblock in your way, toxic people. These are the types of people who weigh you down and they could be a significant other, a friend, or even a family member. No matter who it is for you, this person could be the reason all your New Year’s resolutions have been left astray by July.

In my life, I try to help everyone, and I am very trusting. This causes me to attract people who will use me and then leave me like a deflated beach ball.

In my first two years of college, I had these types of people in my life. These ‘friends’ would constantly ask me to help them in classes they rarely attended. They would try to convince me to skip classes with them all the time. A friend I was particularly close to, I would drive to school every day for half a semester free of charge. Then when I was going through a financially tough time and asked her to give me gas money in the future, she caught an attitude with me.

I was completely drained my first two years of college and it was from these ‘friends’. If I had been able to spot toxic people better back then, I could have had a more enjoyable first two years of college.

So, to make sure you have a good 2020, here are three ways to tell if someone in your life is toxic.

Are they nice?

As simple as the question may be, it is valid. Always make sure you surround yourself with people who do good by other people. The best way to tell how someone is going to treat you, in the long run, is to see how they treat others. If someone is rude to people, vindictive or has nothing nice to say about anyone, they probably aren’t the best company. Also, if you hang out with someone who says things that push your confidence down, they are not good for you.

Is the relationship symbiotic?

Now, in relationships we don’t do kind acts in the hope they will be returned. Even though this is true if someone is never there for you that can be draining. For me personally, a healthy relationship has a natural give and take. This is because when people are there for us, we want to be there for them too. If someone is never returning any of your kindness, it’s a signal they probably don’t care about you as much as you do them.

Does this person motivate you?

Sometimes the people around us might be nice, but they never push us to do better.

Hanging around people who have no drive can slow down your roll as well. When we surround ourselves with people who are pushing themselves it makes us want to strive to do better as well. Of course, you should be your own motivation, but having people who are lazy can distract you from your goals.

When I realized it was the people in my life were draining me, I made some changes that helped a lot. The first step for me was setting boundaries of things I was and not willing to do. I began being more honest about what my friends did that hurt me. If they couldn’t change, I would distance myself from them and let that relationship come to an end. Cutting these people out helped me become a better student and a happier person overall.