General On The Go Royal Woman

What lessons we can take away about relationships on social media from Serena Williams’ engagement to Reddit co-founder

serena1Like many of you all, the news of Serena Williams’ engagement to Reddit cofounder, Alexis Ohanian, came as a shock! Most of the general public (including RoyalTee) didn’t even know they were dating let alone close enough to pop the big question.  Not even TMZ caught the memo and they’re usually one of the first to get the tea on all things celebrity. Other than the super cute announcement on the Reddit site and Ohanian’s follow-up Facebook status saying, “She said yes”, the couple has been pretty private about their relationship, at least to us. We’re pretty sure their close friends and family knew, like Venus of course.  But the couple made it a point not to broadcast their relationship all over social media. And you know what, that’s pretty dope in this day and age. Here’s why:

1. It’s just not everyone’s business. 

dating1There’s a post circulating around Instagram that says ‘build your empire, find someone you love and be quiet about it.’ It may not be that exact phrase but we’ve seen them.  In other words, the world doesn’t need to know every time you’re single, taken or  ‘its complicated’. (And if you find yourself in an complicated situation for too long, that’s just mess. You’re single. Nothing about real love is supposed to be complicated. )  Also look at your followers.  The average millennial on social media has over 1,000 followers/friends and let’s face it, you do not have a relationship with all of these people. Out of your thousand followers, you’re probably communicating with less than 5% of them with on a daily basis. To put it in a nutshell, you’re telling your business to complete strangers. And strangers either view your personal business as entertainment ( which is all social media is) or they simply do not care.  This is not to say you have to keep your relationship a secret, just keep in mind what you post about it. You want to change your status? Cool beans. As long as its not a every six month change. We don’t need to know about all the ‘bad terms’ and  on and off phrases, which again, is all entertainment for those who do not know your situation. Save the intimate details for your close circle. And if you’re having trouble figuring out who your close circle is look at your phone. The top 5 people you have in you inbox are typically the ones you are closest to.

Out of your thousand followers, you’re probably communicating with less than 5% of them with on a daily basis. To put it in a nutshell, you’re telling your business to complete strangers.

  2. Social media is life! But don’t let it dictate your life.

From Instagram memes  and Facebook statuses to snapchats and tweets, words and videos hold power. Whether you’re having a bad day, a good day or an awkward random moment there is a post out there in cyberspace that has been made to match our exact situations. And we share those private thoughts through reposts or if you’re creative and have the time, make the posts ourselves through phone apps. They’re fun and cute and can give us a chance at ‘Insta’ viral success but they’re not meant to be taken too seriously. People should not able to figure out the drama in your lives based on what you post, especially your love life.  We see them all the time. One day, your friend’s newsfeed is full of heart emojis and ‘Martin and Gina’ memes; the next day, its miss independent and Beyoncé ( Sorry, I ain’t sorry) . If you want to vent, call one of those top 5 five people in your phone, then try listening to Pandora. Lauryn Hill, Mary J. Blige and Monica channels always seem to do the job.

People should not be able to figure out the drama in your lives based on what you post, especially your love life

3. Posts can be deceiving

dating2This point is pretty simple and reflects reason #2. Social media is all about putting out what you want people to think about you. Simply put, don’t get too caught up in all of those cuddle selfies and kissing moments. Just because it looks like they have it all together on the outside doesn’t mean everything is cookies and cream at home.

 

4. Save it for someone special.

Getting a new ‘boo’ is fun and its natural for us to want to share our happiness through posts and pictures. But its also very new, dating3so share your excitement with caution. Dating, especially millennial dating, is unpredictable, spontaneous and much more complicated especially if you let social media play a huge part in it. As women, many of us can go on several dates with different guys, ranging from happy hours to Starbucks meet-ups. Our followers won’t hear about all of them except one or two, our family, just one ( and that’s usually the person invited to  Sunday dinner); but our girlfriends, on the other hand, will hear about all of them. Its easy to like someone but not so easy to fall in and out of love. Its not everyone’s business to know all your dating fails, but its nice to know when you find someone who makes the cut. Which is exactly what Serena and Alexis did. Leave the playthings off line. Let  your next serious relationship explode like a bombshell!

Its not everyone’s business to know all your dating fails, but its nice to know when you find someone who made the cut.

 

 

 

 

 

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