Breakups can be rough and they can take some time to recuperate from. In the meantime, take this opportunity to get to know another important person in your life and that person is you!
“The best way to get over an old man, is to climb on top ( or on the bottom) of another one.” Not sure where this overrated, cliché phrase originated from, but it is probably the worst piece of relationship advice a woman can receive when it comes to breakups or getting over someone.
Healing, especially from the heart, is a self-sufficient action and starts from within, which is why we should not be rushing into anything new! At least not right away. Stress is a killer, which is why happiness is so essential. We cannot depend on someone else to bring us that joy if we can’t even bring it to ourselves. And I get it, if you’re newly single, being lonely can be boring and depressing as hell; if you choose to make it so. For some reason, your hands don’t hit those tension points in your foot like your ex-partner’s and cuddling with a pillow isn’t as comfortable as spooning ( unless you have the body-length therapeutic pillows, that is a different story). But you will find that being single and dating yourself for awhile can be one of the best, pleasures you can give [insert your name here].
Here are a few reasons why:
You can do the things YOU like to do and not worry about what other people think about them.
That quirky hobby, place or movie you always wanted to partake in and never did because bae didn’t like that? Do it!
You only have you to worry about now, so its YOU that you need to take care
Breakups and heartbreaks can be a blow to our confidence and self-esteem. Take the time you need to gain that confidence back! Side note: Never let another person’s perception of you dictate how you see yourself! Focus on improving your mental health; meditate, yoga, workout, pray. Remember the most important person you need to please at the end of the day is looking at you right in the mirror.
You’re more independent
This is where the phrase, “I can do bad all by myself’ comes into play. Treat yourself to a hot date; activities you would typically do with a significant other, do them by yourself. Take yourself out to a dinner or Sunday brunch, put on your sexy black dress and go to a jazz club and listen to some live music. And if all else fails, there is happy hour. I truly believe some of the most interesting people you will meet in your life are around a bar between 5 and 8 at night on weekdays.
You get to know what YOU like and know it well
Masturbation. Period. Point. Blank. Try it, its lovely. Self-pleasure can not only help you figure out what you like sexually, it could also benefit your future sexual relationships with someone else.
You only have you to cater to and pamper
Self-indulgence is sexy. The great thing about dating yourself is that you have all of the time and resources to treat yourself.
Reflection and self-evaluation
You did this, he did that. It takes two to build a relationship and sometimes two to break up one. Take a few moments to consider your role in this downfall. Not to put false hope into changing the circumstances, but to learn from them. Whether your situation is a permanent breakup or temporary space, acknowledging your shortcomings and learning from them will make you a better person in a new situation.
A working journalist, entrepreneur and founder of RoyalTee Enterprises. Born and raised in Tampa, Fla. The vision of RoyalTee was inspired in 2015 by Alexia’s ambitions to return to her passion for creative writing and publishing and create a platform to showcase the excellence of minority women across the country through professional, personal and social ventures.